Bisexual

attracted to two or more genders

People who identity as bisexual can feel attraction towards two or more genders. The term Bisexual is pretty outdated, since it suggests that bisexual people are only attracted to two (bi = two) genders. That’s not true, bisexuals can also feel attraction to more than two genders. This attraction can differ from gender to gender, meaning that not every bisexual is equally attracted to all genders. For example: if you’re about 80% attracted to guys and only about 20% attracted to girls, you’re still bi. If you’ve only ever dated girls but still feel attraction towards guys and non-binary people, you’re still bi. In the end, it’s your decision if you’re comfortable with the label bisexual or not.
If you’re questioning your sexuality, you’ve probably thought about possibly being bisexual. Many people see bisexuality as a stepping stone to coming out as gay. Sometimes that’s true, but bisexuality is still a valid sexuality. It’s okay to like more genders, there’s nothing wrong with you and you don’t have to choose. Even some people who’ve identified as bisexual for a long time, still struggle with thinking that they have to „choose a side“. The reason for that is that society teaches us that you’re either straight or gay. Sometimes it’s hard to unlearn this. That’s why bisexual people often feel stuck in the middle. They’re not „fully gay“ and not „fully straight“. Unfortunately bisexuals are still often excluded from the LGBT community and ignored by the media. Just think about terms like „gay marriage“ or „gay-straight alliance“. Bisexual invisibility and biphobia are slowly becoming less frequent, but there’s still a long way to go.

Common misconceptions

  • Bisexuals can’t be faithful
  • Bisexuality is a phase
  • Bisexuals are hypersexual people
  • Men can’t be bisexual
  • Bisexuals are confused and can’t choose
  • All bisexuals want threesomes

Pansexual vs. Bisexual

Pansexual is a relatively new term in the LGBT community. Language keeps evolving and people keep finding better ways to describe their attractions. Pansexual is a term that recognizes the spectrum of gender. For some people pansexual and bisexual is the same thing, while others see a clear difference between the two. By definition pansexual means „attracted to all genders or attracted to people regardless of gender“. Pansexuality is often described as being gender blind. That means that for people who identify as pansexual, gender is not a factor in who they are attracted to. Other people describe being pansexual as being attracted to people, to personality, to charisma and someone’s „whole being“.  There’s also a repeated discussion going on about whether people who are attracted to non-binary people (neither men nor women) can identify as bisexual, or are automatically pan. Let’s clear this up (again): bisexuals can be attracted to non-binary people.

Click here for more info about pansexuality

Bisexuals in relationships

When a bisexual person ends up being in a relationship, they’re often assumed to have „picked a side“. Hearing comments like „she’s gay now“ or „he’s straight again“, can hurt and make your identity feel invalid. Bisexual people are still bisexual, whether they’re single or in a relationship. Being in a relationship with a man doesn’t make a bisexual girl suddenly straight. Especially bi people who are in a „straight“ relationship are often unwelcome in LGBT spaces. Sometimes they’re only welcome when they don’t bring their partner. That’s definitely not okay and considered biphobic.

Biphobia

Biphobia is the bad treatment of bisexual people or other people who are attracted to multiple genders. Denial that bisexuality exists and negative stereotypes that often lead to discrimination are forms of biphobia. Bisexual people can experience homophobia and biphobia from people outside of the LGBT community and biphobia from inside the LGBT community.

 

Frequently Asked Questions